Things that suck about this first trimester

Having to take my prenatal vitamins.  Most of the time they are the size of horse tranquilizers.  And they can smell.  And of course, they were the generic Target brand left over from my last pregnancy, and I just noticed that they don't have DHA in them.  Time to upgrade.

Nausea. 

Aversions to certain smells and tastes.  I CAN'T DRINK COFFEE, Y'ALL.  It makes my stomach turn.  This is a dire situation up in here.

The obvious: I can't drink alcohol.  I miss my nightly glass of wine!

Where's my cute baby bump?!  I swear I was rocking the maternity belly band by the time I was 7 weeks with Lily.  Instead I look like I just pounded a case of beer, followed by 3 cheesecakes (mmmm, cheesecake).

I can't drink coffee or alcohol (oh wait, I already said that).  Let me be clear: I am pro-caffeine during pregnancy (within moderation).  I'm desperately sucking down a cup of black tea as we speak, hoping for a little bit of that sweet, sweet caffeine high. 

So yes, let's consider this my "official" announcement: I'm knocked up...yes, again!  8 weeks, give or take.

No, this is not what my belly really looks like.  It was a joke picture I took about a month ago, after eating a big meal.  It's my little food baby.

10 Years Later

Back in 2001, during the summer between my first and second years of college, I was bored.  This was the last summer of my life when I wasn't working or in school (yes, staying home with children definitely counts as working!)  In between making frequent trips back to Atlanta to visit my college friends, I did a lot of reading and a lot of movie watching.

This was the summer that I discovered Harry Potter.

I rented the first movie from Video Warehouse (you see, back in the day, you had to actually rent movies from a store, not online or from a kiosk.  In fact, it may have been a video...)  I laid down one rainy afternoon and watched it.  And LOVED it.  I immediately drove into town to Walmart and bought the first 3 books.  I read them all within a week, and waited impatiently for the 4th book to come out on paperback.  I remember that it came out during the week that I went with my family to Hilton Head.  I borrowed the car and drove to the nearest Target and bought it.  I finished it before we went home.

Photo by Rachel Baker

After that, I was completely hooked.  My friends and I made plans to see the movies that came out during college.  I bought the 5th, 6th, and 7th books at midnight after each hit the bookshelves, and stayed up overnight reading each one.

I read Harry Potter during a pivotal moment in my life-- the moment that I was becoming an independent adult.  I may not have been battling trolls, centaurs, evil professors, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but I was learning how to balance work and play, how to live on my own, control my own money, fall in love, deal with loss.  In the 10 years since I saw "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" and read the first few books I have graduated from college, fallen in love, worked a few jobs, moved 1500 miles from home, got married, and had a couple of kids.

Photo by Angie Pratt

Last night I watched the final film.  I wore dorky 3D glasses and sat beside a friend, in a freezing, mostly empty theater, absorbing it all.  I cried when characters that I had watched and read for 10 years died.  I jumped when the snake struck out at the screen.  I cheered inwardly when Professor McGonagal brought the stone soldiers to life, and when Mrs. Weasley snarled at Bellatrix Lestrange, "Not my daughter, you bitch!" 

And then it was over. 

I got in my minivan, dropped my friend off, and drove home.  Home to my husband and sleeping kids.

Letting go of the guilt

It rained yesterday.  Around 5:00 the skies opened up and a nice, hour-long drizzle began.  For the drought-starved land of Texas, the rain was very welcomed.  Ty and Lily sat at the window watching the rain; or rather, Ty watched the rain, and Lily chewed on a toy.  Our plans to fire up some chicken on the grill was replaced by leftovers and a viewing of "The Daily Show" on Hulu.  I left toys lying around later that night, instead opting to eat ice cream while surfing the interwebz and reading in bed.  I would usually feel guilty about this.  I feel bad if I leave toys lying around, or don't sweep up the massive amounts of dog hair that accumulate every few hours, or don't rinse out my dishes, or fold clothes, or remember to rinse out the diaper inserts that were soaking in the washer.  But when it rains, all my guilt flies out the window.  Rain is my excuse to curl up and relax. 

Being a parent means being full of guilt.  This guilt may be brought on by others (you mean you AREN'T feeding your child organically grown produce from your own garden???)  But more than likely, it's brought on by someone much closer to home: YOU.  We are always second guessing our decisions.  It's my own fault-- I know too much.  This isn't me bragging.  As someone who taught parenting to individuals and group classes, I am aware of the latest research.  I know that babies shouldn't sleep on their stomachs until they can roll over on their own, because it's a SIDS risk.  I know that tummy time is important to help build neck strength.  I know that it's recommended to feed babies vegetables before fruits, because fruits are sweeter- and you should wait until at least 4-6 months, due to their immature digestive systems.  

But I also know that sometimes, parent's intuition is much stronger than research.*  Yes, it is recommended not to put babies on their bellies.  But when your kid won't sleep, and you can't sleep, and you're getting so frustrated you feel that you may scream!...flip 'em over.  Just be sure to follow other recommendations to continue lowering that SIDS risk.  Your 3 month old is powering through bottles of formula, or breastfeeding around the clock, and showing readiness signs of starting food?  Do it!  You need a little break to shower, or hell, even pee?  Put on the TV for your kid (just, you know, something slightly educational-- not "Jersey Shore"). 

I'm slowly but surely learning to let go of this guilt.  It took me over a year to not feel guilty that I couldn't breastfeed Ty.  It took me about a day to get over not being able to breastfeed Lily.  I already don't feel guilty that I can't breastfeed a third kid. 

Ty loves some TV, so he watches well over the recommended daily amount.  He also loves to look at books, color, play outside, and run his cars around the track.  So I won't feel guilty that right now he is watching "Dinosaur Train" while Lily naps and I enjoy some coffee. 

I bought two packs of disposable diapers yesterday, one for each kid.  They are in disposables today while I wash and strip all of their cloth diapers and inserts.  We've got some stank going on, so I'm trying to get rid of it.  I could have bought the more expensive brand that has few chemicals, no chlorine, and may be biodegradable.  But I didn't.  I got the store brand instead.  And I refuse to feel guilty.

I threw away fruit and vegetable scraps instead of putting them outside in the compost.  I didn't feel like struggling to open our broken back door and trudging through the mud.  So they were dumped into the trash. 

I also gave Ty some high fructose corn syrup filled fruit snacks today.

Most parents are doing the best that they can.  They shouldn't have to feel guilty about their choices.**


*If you are a resident at a facility that has licensing guidelines advising you to wait until 4 months to feed solids, never put your baby on their belly to sleep, etc, disregard.  I'm sorry, but as a resident of said facility, you are to follow their rules, or earn consequences.  Sorry!


**Note that I said MOST.  Those that abuse their children?  Oh yeah, they should totally feel guilty about that, and their children should be removed from their care.

Watching TV

Playing after a McDonald's lunch

I loves me some surveys

I used to fill this crap out all the time on my old Livejournal back in college!  Michele over at She Said... got this from a blogger she follows, so I'm doing the same.  I would love it if someone else wanted to do it on their blog, too!


Using only one word, answer the following questions. Interpret freely.
1) Your cell phone? Awesome
2) Your hair? Punk
3) Your mother? Calm
4) Your father? Funny
5) Your favorite thing? Coffee
6) Your dream last night? Unsure
7) Your favorite drink? Coffee
8) Your dream/goal? Contentment
9) What room are you in? Playroomoffice
10) Your hobby? Reading
11) Your biggest fear? SNAKES
12) Where were you last night? Home
13) Something that you're not? Tall
14) Muffins? Yum
15) Wish list item? Yard
16) Last thing you did? Financial aid
17) What are you wearing? Cut-offs
18) Friends? Love
19)Love? Family
20) Drinking? Nothing
21Your mood? Dismayed
22) Your car? Swagger
23) Your style? Mine
24) Something you're not wearing? Socks
25) Your favorite store? Target
26) Your Favorite Color? Dark pink
27) Your favorite place to eat? Atlanta
28) Favorite place you would like to be right now? Hilton Head Island
29) Your pet peeve? Slow drivers
30) Your favorite website? Facebook

Sorry, some things required two or more words.  Still enjoyable!

Woodland Nursery Inspiration

So I've decided to redecorate Lily's room- on the cheap, of course.  The only real "theme" that's been goin' on in there was some Mardi Gras masks on the wall and a couple of fleur de lis knick knacks.  I want the room to be nice and cozy, not stark and boring. 

I really like a lot of the woodland themes.  Owls, birds, deer, mushrooms, birch trees, things like that.  So here are some pictures that I've really been digging.

Source: She Said

Source: Oh Dee Oh

Source: Mon Petit Amour

I like this person's DIY owl picture.  I want to do something similar, but with four canvases, with an owl, a deer, a mushroom, and birch trees.

Source: Cantaloupe Corner

 I have my eye on these cool Skip Hop bookends.

Source: Amazon

 And this person used decals found in a kit at Target, but painted the canvas to match the wall.  Looks cool, but I'm planning to paint each canvas a different color, and paint the walls a bright blue.

Source: Project Nursery

Blogging fail

I've been slacking.  Here are a few things I blame for this.

*Lily teething
*Lily's 9 month growth spurt
*Lily not sleeping through the night anymore (notice a pattern?  It's all the baby's fault!)
*Potty training (Ty)
*Working on the backyard
*Applying to grad school

I promise I'll be back soon with some awesome, though-provoking (or not) posts!  In the  meantime, here are some fun pictures.

Things that make any crappy day better

A good work out (started week 5 of the Couch to 5k!)
Beer.
With a bath.
And a new face scrub.
And some lavender epsom salt.

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In an ideal world, my kids wouldn't watch tv until after age 2 (as recommended by the AAP).  We would spend our mornings outside in the backyard, tending to our gardens, followed by a healthy lunch and a good long nap.  I would spend nap time cleaning the house, folding laundry, and starting dinner, perhaps with some blogging thrown in for good measure.  After awakening, my angel children would play together, and I would join while the sauce for whatever simmered on the stove.

Ty watching TV well before the recommended age.  (10 months)

In reality, Lily woke up at 4 am throwing up.  Then I couldn't get back to sleep until almost 6-- and Ty woke me up at 6:30.  Lily woke up fussy, had a NASTY diaper later, fussed fussed cried until her morning nap (damn teeth).Ty watched a lot of Thomas and Cars.  Lily did eat some lunch and a little bit of a bottle, and let me nap for almost an hour.  But that was followed by more fuss fuss crying, until she finally gave in and drank almost a full bottle (that she refused for almost an hour).  Around 7 I finally left the kids with Steve and went to the gym, where I started week 5 of Couch to 5k (run 5 minutes, walk 3, run 5, walk 3, run 5-- booyeah!)  Those endorphins really helped (plus the afore mentioned list), and I was in a much better mood the rest of the night.

Parenting is hard in general (especially spending all. day.  long. with the kids...every single day and night without a break).  Throw in a mild stomach bug and/or teething, and it is TORTURE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 On a political note-- YAY!  Gay marriage rights finally passed in New York state!  But it's so sad that it has taken this long, and there are still only a few states that allow it.  As a friend stated on facebook, "Now the rest of the country that's not legalized, need to get their heads out of their asses! Ridiculous!"

But one of the best quotes comes from Republican (!) New York State Senator Roy McDonald, when he announced his decision to support the bill: "Well, fuck it. I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing."

It's about time.