That's not to say that I never let my children cry. There are times when I'm caring for one child, and can't get to the other fast enough. Or if I'm making a bottle for Lily. Or if I've put Ty in time out for hitting. But I've never been one to let my kids "cry it out." I did it once with Ty (when he was about 21 months) during the month before Lily was born in which he would not go to sleep at night without a fight. I hadn't eaten, and I finally left his room at 10:00 so I could eat dinner. He cried for 20 minutes straight, and never fell asleep. The dinner tasted like crap.
And I can't bring myself to let Lily cry it out, even when she is having such a hard time with her naps. I've let her fuss a little in her crib, which has once or twice succeeded in her falling asleep, but never cry. That's not to say that I won't (I'm slowly reaching the end of my rope when it comes to her naps), but she and I aren't ready yet.
Steve tells me to be patient and let her work it out herself. He says that if I go rescue her whenever she makes a noise, she will never learn how to self-soothe. I agree, to a certain extent-- I won't intervene if she's making her "sick cat" noises (screeching) but I will if she's crying (tears). Steve has surmised that it must be a "mom thing"-- we can't stand to hear our babies cry. Not that he's heartless! He just doesn't get as stressed about the crying as I do.
What do you think? Is it a mom thing not to let our children cry?
I do not at all believe in crying it out. I have had to let mine cry also when I am tending to another one or some of the reasons you listed, but I took a class one time on the developing brain and the stress a baby goes through when crying it out and the damage that is done and if you let you children cry it out before this believe you would not after that information.
ReplyDeleteI feel that it is my responsibility to soothe them. I mean for 9 or 10 months (however long you were pregnant) they were held constantly! Never let down! Never to cry it out and now all of a sudden they are suppose to know self-soothing techniques? (not anything against those who believe in this or your husband). But I look at it like this also, it sometimes takes us a lot longer to calm our selves down or find what calms us down, i.e. a walk, music, meditating, and so on.
I also see it as I am all they know. They heard my heartbeat for so long and that soothed them. They heard me talk to them, they felt me, they feed off of my, they just did everything with me and to be born into this freakish world with lights and people move fast, fast, fast and can you imagine what is going on in their little minds. Then..aaaaahhhhh...placed on mommy's chest and there it is again, do you hear it??? that beat, beat, beat....ohhh comfort and security once again!!!
So if my kiddos need that love re-charge or they need, as I call it, boob therapy (where they place their head up on my breasts so they can hear that ba bump, ba bump) that is what I am hear for!!!
Some might not agree and that is fine, it just all depends on what works for you and your family, but for mine..I will soothe and help them calm down as what I feel is natural and that is by mom.
Did not mean to get on a soap box, but this is something that I am passionate about. I will take the time, no matter where I am, and hold and rock and people can just get piss at me and kiss my ass while they talk behind my back! LOL
Keep up the good work!!!!